It has come to our attention that the number of sentient life-forms in Britain who describe themselves as a follower of the Jedi religion has reached 180,000.
With the economy in ruins, the government planning for civil unrest, trusted celebrities unmasked as goblins, and seemingly every department of state shown to be corrupt we call upon the British Order of the Jedi to stop the petty bickering with the BBC’s Dr Who fans and concentrate your efforts towards the real enemies of the land that reside within the British Brainwashing Contraption.
Help us brothers and sisters, noble Jedi of Britain in your countries hour of need. You could be our only hope. We humbly call upon all Jedi Knights in the land who hear this plea to join us on 1st June, Portland Place, London to counter the mind control apparatus beaming propaganda far and wide and listing it as…
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